HOPELESS ROMANTIC

I rarely attend wedding ceremonies and I really get that oh-so-romantic feeling whenever I see lovers making vows to each other. Yesterday, we got to see a workmate make vow in front of God and all of us. It was a renewal of vows actually because she and her husband already got married through civil wedding almost a decade ago and it was just until now that they had decided to get married in the church.The saying of “I do”, the sweet love songs and the smiles of the bride and groom gave me that enthralling and enigmatic feeling of love and all that comes with it. 

I believe that all of us really wish and dream for a happily ever after. We dream of having that one true love to have and to live with for the rest of our lives and with whom we can share our journey and endeavors as the years will come. For a hopeless romantic like me, I really can’t help but try to think of having that same experience also, that immense feeling of loving someone and being loved back as well as that security of having someone who will be there to love and protect you through the years.

At this age, many already asked me whether I already have a boyfriend or not. And I already answered “NO!”for like a hundred times already. Sometimes I get annoyed because some people seem to make so much fuss about not having a boyfriend at my age. I’m single and it’s not really a big deal because I think that I’m still young and I’ve got so much more to go. I may not have found my one true love yet but I know he will eventually come. God will surely reveal him to me when the right time comes. On the other side though, there are also times when I get too pressured or should I say threatened because I still got no boyfriend. Many of the people I know, most of them actually, are in a relationship. Some of my friends are even married now and have children already. Sometimes, I get to ask if there is something wrong with me. Am I not lovable? Am I not that type of person who will get the attention of men? Or perhaps, just like some people have told me, I’m the type of person who is too choosy and sets standards and I may be overlooking someone who is already there because I’m trying to find my Mr. Perfect Guy. Someone even told me that some guys are just intimidated with me. That doesn’t sound so right, don’t you think so? How will they know how I will feel when in the first place they haven’t even tried their luck?

One friend of mine had this New Year’s wish of finding a boyfriend this year. I’m not too sure if I really want the same thing to happen with me but I do have hopes of finding a special friend ( laughs). I really want to find someone who can give me that “kilig” feeling again. Yes, again! Of course, we all have/had that “love or crush" who will give us that kilig factor and who will make us smile just by the sight of them but in my case I really have to forget that “someone” because I think that he’s not meant for me. Sad and disappointing! Hence, my goal for this year, move on and find a new crush! Just a new crush for now! HAHAHA :)

WELCOME TWO ZERO ONE THREE

Another story has been written down and the book has been closed. The 365 days of 2012 are over. Hence, as another 365 days come forth, we are again given those 365 pages to be filled with our experiences and stories in life; another 365 blank pages in which each of our stories is to be written down.

2012. How was it, by the way? How did it differ with the previous years? Was it good or bad? Usually, as a year comes to its end, we try to reminisce what had happened all throughout and we try to evaluate things and assess what impact had been made into us. Had it occurred to you the feeling like nothing had really happened and the year just passed with no great change and you say to yourself, “Hey, it’s still the same old me!” and then you say that you’ll do better next year? On the other point of view, you may feel like so much have changed on yourself and you’ve become a better person. The trials surpassed, the mistakes done, the lessons learned, the happy and sad moments, the frustrations, the successes and everything else have made you grow up into a person with wider perception, better judgment, more responsible bearing and improved wisdom. 

My 2012 had been quite a series of intertwined happiness and sadness, successes and failures, hopes and disappointments, boredom and excitement, optimistic dreams and sometimes melancholic reality. Some desires have been achieved yet some expectations have remained unmet. On the latter part, sometimes I feel hopeless and think that such things aren’t meant for me but then, when positivity surges inside of me, I just think that things are still in the making and all that I have to do is patiently wait and hope and continue working for it. There’s this one question that bothered one time. How will you know when you still have to continue believing and fighting for what you want and when it’s already time for you to give up and start chasing another dream? Well, I think it’s all about having faith. We just have to believe, try, wait and see what happens next. Things will unravel their mysteries in a succeeding manner. You just have to think that there is no such thing as a wasted moment or else you’ll end up regretting. Everything that happens fit into the big puzzle of life, whether good or bad. 

To tell you honestly, I think that 2012 wasn’t really the best year for me. I don’t know. I think things didn’t conspire to what I’ve wanted to happen. Or were my efforts not enough?  Perhaps, I was thinking that I did something but did nothing at all or that I did my best but I did not, actually. Now I am sounding like a very disconcerted person. If that’s the case, I need to be and do better this year. What’s the use of having another year if not to continue fulfilling your aspirations and making yourself a better one? You’ll do better next time! Never say die! Patience is a virtue! There’s always another chance! Just keep on believing! Things will be better! Clichés, aren’t they? But they still make sense somehow.

On the brighter side, 2012 had brought me joy because of the presence of a few good people. They were those who made me laugh, whom I made jokes and shared stories with. My family and friends were there with me throughout my journey. And I guess, despite of my frustrations, it’s really a great thing to think that there are people who listen to me and continue to support, help and inspire me all way long. And it’s a greater thing that I get to share my joys in those high moments with people who appreciate and value me and genuinely care for me. I am truly grateful for them! I thank God for giving me good people in my life.

What did each year constantly teach me? We can dream of anything freely. We can dream big and hope for great possibilities. We can always make our own plans and choices. But what reality offers is that we can’t do or have everything all at once. We have to work hard, persevere, and wait until everything that we did pays off.  I’ve always believe in “you reap what you sow”. You just have to be patient. And always have that faith in you. Sure thing is God will help you in achieving every goal. He may keep you waiting for some time. He may let you stumble to learn how to get up and continue pushing through. He will enlighten when you’re already on the wrong track. You just have to believe!

I truly hope that 2013 will be a better year for me! Welcome two zero one three! Please be good to me! :)


"2012 was a set of dates brought alive by memorable cloud 9 experiences, moments of meeting new people and reuniting with old friends, frustrations and giving up, new resolutions and decisions. Whether our plans be by baby steps, skip-and-hop, or somersaulting, our choices are what mattered in where we are at this start of the year. We do not expect 2013 to bring us good luck and to make our wishes come true, but rather, 2013 is a box we fill up as its days pass by. At the end, this box is a gift we give ourselves... to open a present full of memories and be able to wrap again another.. and another... " - J. Escote